Suddenly some.....cuddles

Seems a funny thing to write about? well, I've been thinking about them a lot lately and yesterday sitting on the bus I realised that they are as necessary as the air we breathe, well almost, you know what I mean. When was the last time you had one from your kids? or your partner? a random stranger? The most random cuddle? From a man trying to get members for the Red Cross in the middle of Leicester Square in London, I said I was already a member and he said he wasn't doing very well so I had to give him something, I joked "how about a cuddle?" to which he agreed, we both left smiling, I had a fantastic day and I'm sure I improved his too.

Cuddles and hugs can mean anything thank you, I love you, I understand, pleased to see you, I feel your pain, don't worry, we'll get there and lots of other things, the point is they are always without doubt positive and nurturing and we need them for our emotional well being.

The men in my life, father, brother and soon to be ex husband were/are stiff upper lip when it comes to showing emotion, just not the done thing, I really didn't notice this flaw for some time, I enjoy a hug or cuddle and am always ready to give or receive one. My dad would always tell someone who wanted to give him a hug 'not to be so silly' and would shake them off, that is until the day my daughter replied ' I don't care, I'm coming in for one anyway'. It changed their relationship and my fathers whole outlook on life, in fact he turned from a grumpy old git to a teddy bear, pity it was so soon before he died.

Men use them to get what they want, I don't mean in a nasty way, naturally and with love or affection, women use cuddles more and in a nurturing way as part of our make-up we need and give more hugs. When hugs are withheld you start to wonder what's wrong and feel less confidence about your relationship that person in general and can be one of the signs leading to a total breakdown.

Personal experience leads me to believe that affection in the form of bodily contact ie cuddles, is an essential part of life. Hug your friends, children, lover even the old lady who lives downstairs, it'll make them feel better and not to mention it'll bring the magic of a smile to your face.

Rants are moving

Silly me I thought the rants page was also Blog-like but, it's not so I'm going to right it all here. All this angst on my part was kicked off by my now estranged other half - can't say ex because he's not. I never believed in the midlife crisis thing but, boy has he got one going on. It certainly left me not only confused but with 2 teenage daughters to bring up or should I say look after. 

30 years is a long time and being on your own and responsible all of a sudden is difficult and tiring, my parents are gone so I have no one older and wiser to support me or at least make the right noises. It has made me wary and in some things indecisive which at this juncture is not a good thing. The other thing is of course the loneliness, we had a very intense close relationship so that meant very few friends, when your only 'friend' suddenly disappears you have to find new one hence the first point I said I'd try and change - old habits die hard

I said I'd tell you how I got on with the 1. Avoiding Isolating myself - well I think it's going OK kind of... I went on a reunion to London and met friends I haven't seen for 20 years it was great fun!! I would never have done that a year ago. 2. Exercising - also OK I've been to the gym a total of 8 times since I wrote my rants post. It may not be having much of an an effect on my waistline yet but, it's at least making me too tired to stay awake and worry which is a plus.

Do I feel better, I suppose I do, I haven't listened to either of the songs I posted, both are a little depressing wouldn't you say? Music is funny I can't find anything I like... listening to the lyrics too much. 

I've also been reprocessing space - making it mine - that it really something that helps, I'm redecorating and moving furniture around like there's no tomorrow, it's also something I enjoy design what do you think of this little piece of reprocessing I did:

Yep, I love it too....


Doing stuff for yourself, not anyone else... That's what I'm going to try and do during the next week, 1 thing every day.

Suddenly some....?

This is an attempt to do something useful and to cure depression, which I know must be near. How? I hear you ask, I burst into tears while on the phone to my mother-in-law. And as the radio has just told me: today is Valentine's Day and I am sitting in bed hiding from the World, pulling a so called sicky.

I know that I will not receive flowers today, I will not receive a card, I will not even get a peck on the cheek after almost exactly 30 years of marriage I know this without a doubt! The only person that ever sent me flowers was my mother, who has been gone for some 5 years now, the same year my husband went to Thailand. 

Husband, ah yes, he left 6 months ago for a job the other side of the world, saying he loved me more than everything and didn't know what he would do without me. That lasted a long time - all of 2 months. Now I find myself bringing up 2 teenagers, one just started college the other a year away from university entrance exams, of course they are the reason I didn't go and live in the tropics. It would not be fair to either desert them in Europe or drag them to a foreign country so I stayed.

What?

Now, I've explained my situation, I have to decide what I'm going to use this blog for. The idea behind the blog name is that you can add anything to the phase "suddenly some" 'suddenly some flowers'...hahahaha, as it's Valentines Day 'suddenly some-one loves you' that would be nice but, not today. 

So that's what is going to be, every time I post I'll add a phase that's been bugging me and ramble.