Suddenly some.....cuddles

Seems a funny thing to write about? well, I've been thinking about them a lot lately and yesterday sitting on the bus I realised that they are as necessary as the air we breathe, well almost, you know what I mean. When was the last time you had one from your kids? or your partner? a random stranger? The most random cuddle? From a man trying to get members for the Red Cross in the middle of Leicester Square in London, I said I was already a member and he said he wasn't doing very well so I had to give him something, I joked "how about a cuddle?" to which he agreed, we both left smiling, I had a fantastic day and I'm sure I improved his too.

Cuddles and hugs can mean anything thank you, I love you, I understand, pleased to see you, I feel your pain, don't worry, we'll get there and lots of other things, the point is they are always without doubt positive and nurturing and we need them for our emotional well being.

The men in my life, father, brother and soon to be ex husband were/are stiff upper lip when it comes to showing emotion, just not the done thing, I really didn't notice this flaw for some time, I enjoy a hug or cuddle and am always ready to give or receive one. My dad would always tell someone who wanted to give him a hug 'not to be so silly' and would shake them off, that is until the day my daughter replied ' I don't care, I'm coming in for one anyway'. It changed their relationship and my fathers whole outlook on life, in fact he turned from a grumpy old git to a teddy bear, pity it was so soon before he died.

Men use them to get what they want, I don't mean in a nasty way, naturally and with love or affection, women use cuddles more and in a nurturing way as part of our make-up we need and give more hugs. When hugs are withheld you start to wonder what's wrong and feel less confidence about your relationship that person in general and can be one of the signs leading to a total breakdown.

Personal experience leads me to believe that affection in the form of bodily contact ie cuddles, is an essential part of life. Hug your friends, children, lover even the old lady who lives downstairs, it'll make them feel better and not to mention it'll bring the magic of a smile to your face.

Suddenly Some..... Diaries

Writing a mood journal

Ever thought about writing a Diary? I have never been able to do it for more than a couple of days. Don't you admire people like Churchill, William Pepys and Anne Frank not to mention this people who manage to update their blogs everyday. I love the idea but am never able somehow to find the time. Well times are changing and I decided I really must make an effort to record what's happening, especially the emotion side of my life. Reading went to work is so dreary five days a week, inner feelings and reactions are more interesting, maybe that was my mistake I was trying to write the wrong kind of diary.

As a part of my personal journey I decided to keep  a well being journal…. and as passed experience has shown me I am rubbish at keeping one I decided to use a phone app. and see how that works.

The first App. I tried was imoodjournal, a very simple idea you select how you feel and record your feelings using #hash tags and take a photo of yourself.It then maps you're hash tags and sorts them relating to whether they are positive or negative and I must say I'm still using it, I'm not sure whether I can see the benefit of the photos which are flipped so they are reversed, maybe I have to use it longer so I can see the difference. Sorting hash tags is definitely working I can see what makes me feel good and more importantly what makes me feel bad and am already working on changing those parts of my life. I will certainly continue using imoodjournal. 

The other App was rubbish I won't even bother naming it as I'm sure for some people it's great, it was too time consuming and complicated and that wasn't the aim of the exercise and I have already deleted it from my phone.

Suddenly Some ...Smiles

The Benefits of Smiling
Smiling is infectious,
You can catch it like the flu.
Someone smiled at me today,
And I started smiling too.
~Author Unknown

Some time ago I got fed up with feeling down all the time, this was pre 'the big change' and the only thing I could think of to try and get me out of it was to smile. Ha, I hear you say, but, no smiling when you are feeling depressed is very difficult. I had no friends, was unhappy at home , living in a foreign country and didn't have a proper job either, I really was at my wits end. Support was very hard to come by, smile I told myself, you know the the saying "smile and the whole World smiles with you, cry and you cry alone". Well, I'd done enough of the second, so I started smiling, from the very first moment I tried it I noticed the difference.

No really there was a difference, at first I just noticed people smiling back and then there was more eye contact, in a country where both seem to be avoided I was amazed! Smiling was a strain at the beginning, I didn't see the point, but those first few days encouraged me and as it got easier and more people smiled at me, people started to talk to me! If I was standing at a bus stop I would be people approached to ask about the time-time or whether they had missed the number so and so.

 I smiled more and more and wonderful things started to happen, I began to feel more positive in general. I began to trust myself and others began to trust me more, my work environment changed because I'd changed, I'd changed from a timid employee who sho in the corner never daring to do or say anything to a smiling, happy (at least on the outside - but that was changing to), friendly and helpful self confident person. 

What does a smile do?

Smiles lower your blood pressure! yep, it has been proved... you can prove it to yourself, I did ven the doctor was amazed. When you next go to the doctor and he takes your blood pressure ask if to take it again when you're smiling, there really is a noticeable difference. Whether you feel like smiling or not, or are happy or not smiling releases endorphins, serotonin and other biochemicals so called happy chemicals into your body. The same ones released when you go bungy jumping or mountain biking or any dangerous sport. It#s also said that if you smile enough it has a positive effect on your immune system.


Psychological changes happen too:

• you fell more positive.
• you are more approachable
• people trust you more - every one prefer a smiling salesman :)
• they help cover up embarrassment 
• they say sorry
• you are more attractive
• Don't believe me? hear it from somebody else: ten benefits of smiling

2 years after starting my smiling experiment, a smile is now my natural expression. A smile is a weapon in sociality that none can withstand.

Forgotten how to smile? try this... but please start smiling!!