Suddenly some.....cuddles

Seems a funny thing to write about? well, I've been thinking about them a lot lately and yesterday sitting on the bus I realised that they are as necessary as the air we breathe, well almost, you know what I mean. When was the last time you had one from your kids? or your partner? a random stranger? The most random cuddle? From a man trying to get members for the Red Cross in the middle of Leicester Square in London, I said I was already a member and he said he wasn't doing very well so I had to give him something, I joked "how about a cuddle?" to which he agreed, we both left smiling, I had a fantastic day and I'm sure I improved his too.

Cuddles and hugs can mean anything thank you, I love you, I understand, pleased to see you, I feel your pain, don't worry, we'll get there and lots of other things, the point is they are always without doubt positive and nurturing and we need them for our emotional well being.

The men in my life, father, brother and soon to be ex husband were/are stiff upper lip when it comes to showing emotion, just not the done thing, I really didn't notice this flaw for some time, I enjoy a hug or cuddle and am always ready to give or receive one. My dad would always tell someone who wanted to give him a hug 'not to be so silly' and would shake them off, that is until the day my daughter replied ' I don't care, I'm coming in for one anyway'. It changed their relationship and my fathers whole outlook on life, in fact he turned from a grumpy old git to a teddy bear, pity it was so soon before he died.

Men use them to get what they want, I don't mean in a nasty way, naturally and with love or affection, women use cuddles more and in a nurturing way as part of our make-up we need and give more hugs. When hugs are withheld you start to wonder what's wrong and feel less confidence about your relationship that person in general and can be one of the signs leading to a total breakdown.

Personal experience leads me to believe that affection in the form of bodily contact ie cuddles, is an essential part of life. Hug your friends, children, lover even the old lady who lives downstairs, it'll make them feel better and not to mention it'll bring the magic of a smile to your face.

Suddenly Some..... Diaries

Writing a mood journal

Ever thought about writing a Diary? I have never been able to do it for more than a couple of days. Don't you admire people like Churchill, William Pepys and Anne Frank not to mention this people who manage to update their blogs everyday. I love the idea but am never able somehow to find the time. Well times are changing and I decided I really must make an effort to record what's happening, especially the emotion side of my life. Reading went to work is so dreary five days a week, inner feelings and reactions are more interesting, maybe that was my mistake I was trying to write the wrong kind of diary.

As a part of my personal journey I decided to keep  a well being journal…. and as passed experience has shown me I am rubbish at keeping one I decided to use a phone app. and see how that works.

The first App. I tried was imoodjournal, a very simple idea you select how you feel and record your feelings using #hash tags and take a photo of yourself.It then maps you're hash tags and sorts them relating to whether they are positive or negative and I must say I'm still using it, I'm not sure whether I can see the benefit of the photos which are flipped so they are reversed, maybe I have to use it longer so I can see the difference. Sorting hash tags is definitely working I can see what makes me feel good and more importantly what makes me feel bad and am already working on changing those parts of my life. I will certainly continue using imoodjournal. 

The other App was rubbish I won't even bother naming it as I'm sure for some people it's great, it was too time consuming and complicated and that wasn't the aim of the exercise and I have already deleted it from my phone.

Rants are moving

Silly me I thought the rants page was also Blog-like but, it's not so I'm going to right it all here. All this angst on my part was kicked off by my now estranged other half - can't say ex because he's not. I never believed in the midlife crisis thing but, boy has he got one going on. It certainly left me not only confused but with 2 teenage daughters to bring up or should I say look after. 

30 years is a long time and being on your own and responsible all of a sudden is difficult and tiring, my parents are gone so I have no one older and wiser to support me or at least make the right noises. It has made me wary and in some things indecisive which at this juncture is not a good thing. The other thing is of course the loneliness, we had a very intense close relationship so that meant very few friends, when your only 'friend' suddenly disappears you have to find new one hence the first point I said I'd try and change - old habits die hard

I said I'd tell you how I got on with the 1. Avoiding Isolating myself - well I think it's going OK kind of... I went on a reunion to London and met friends I haven't seen for 20 years it was great fun!! I would never have done that a year ago. 2. Exercising - also OK I've been to the gym a total of 8 times since I wrote my rants post. It may not be having much of an an effect on my waistline yet but, it's at least making me too tired to stay awake and worry which is a plus.

Do I feel better, I suppose I do, I haven't listened to either of the songs I posted, both are a little depressing wouldn't you say? Music is funny I can't find anything I like... listening to the lyrics too much. 

I've also been reprocessing space - making it mine - that it really something that helps, I'm redecorating and moving furniture around like there's no tomorrow, it's also something I enjoy design what do you think of this little piece of reprocessing I did:

Yep, I love it too....


Doing stuff for yourself, not anyone else... That's what I'm going to try and do during the next week, 1 thing every day.