Suddenly some...Time

Time is a funny thing you never seem to have enough if it and if you do 9 times out of 10 most people end up wasting those precious moments with the mundane or the boring. I have no bone to pick with the 9, as i'm prone to procrastination myself and I'm jealous of the one, that person who sees an opportunity and uses it to the full.

After a long 18 months of trying desperately to get over a really bad and really long relationship I have suddenly found myself A. feeling more optimistic and B. I have so much more time that I want to fill with good useful things. Most people I know would say ' Ooh, lucky you, spare time, I'd love some of that'. But having spent so long caring for the needs of a challenging, demanding control freak I'm at a bit of a loss. I still end up at home with nothing to do, you see before I needed approval and if it was not forthcoming then I didn't do it - so I didn't do most things I wanted to.

So here I am sitting in my armchair writing this, I've cleaned, cooked re-functioned a stool in my daughter's bedroom phoned everyone I need to and written my Christmas thank you letters and now I don't know what to do with the rest of the evening.

Over the past couple of weeks I have been thinking, thinking about what I want to do basically with my extra time and as a consequence my life. I am 50 March and by that time I want to at the very least know where I am going and have an idea how to get there. So far this is what I have worked out:

• I enjoy my job as a Management Assistant - supporting and organising 
• I am interested in psychology - positive psychology fits with my general positive outlook on life, I am hardly ever negative about things and always smile.
• I love making things - I'll turn my hand to anything DIY, crafty or sewing, I used to make children's clothes and wedding jewellery and sell them before the Internet existed, really enjoyed it.
• Art and design are fascinating - I can not paint, or have never tried but, design I can do, the interior of my apartment has completely changed over the past 18 months from sparse and tidy to shabby vintage and I've hardly spent any money on new furniture.
• I need to further my education.
• I am dedicated to supporting/helping my daughters achieve their goals in life.
• I want to move back to the UK.

This feeling of wellbeing and time has kind of crept up on me, I assume I am at last getting over what was. Now motivation and a plan is needed to keep me from slipping back and becoming one of the 9. Here are some articles that I'm reading at the moment:

Tiny Budha

Lifehack

 the other fall out of such a relationship is a lack of friends and real fear of committing to even the most basic of friendships - that's something else and maybe another post